And, at least for me, habits require record keeping, temperature checks to see how I’m doing. So I whooped out one of my many bookmaking guides and made one of the simplest books I’ve never made:  a stitched pamphlet with only one signature. It came as no surprise to me that I had whizzed past this style of book, anxious to make other more interesting or complex creations, but, as this project shows, the simple pamphlet book also has its place!

One of my closest friends is a book conservator which, in turn, has given her the skills to make kick-ass handmade books. This is one of the beautiful books she’s gifted to me.

I have a love for ephemera, for odds and ends, and, when these objects follow me home, they invariably end up in these metal slide organizers where they wait to inspire a bit of artwork or a journal page. Not much of what I collect/organize gets attractive containers like this (I see so many studios with glass jars, but I think my cats would enjoy redecorating with those too much!), so I’m extra appreciative of the aesthetic appeal of the old slide organizers.

What would you give someone you loved if it might be the last gift you gave to them? My mother chose this silver bracelet with the inscription “BLESS THIS WOMAN” inside to give to me for my 28th birthday. She died 292 days later. If I could, I’d wear this bracelet every day but, unfortunately, it has a bit of a weak spot/crack and now I worry that the whole thing could fall apart.

I don’t allow myself many collections, but I do gather these pressed pennies on my various travels and adventures. They seem like some a piece of Americana, I was quite surprised to also find them in Europe and, as a result, have pennies from the London Dungeon and Dublin Zoo among the collection. I also have a a coin I hammered myself at the Jorvik Viking Centre!

The other collection I must own up to: books. We have bookshelves of art books, of cooking books, of gaming books and, of course, fiction and other types of nonfiction. I regularly try to whittle down, but have to acknowledge my short comings every time we move, people express shock at the number of boxes labeled “BOOKS—HEAVY!!”

If you’re alive, you’re creative

That’s the subtitle to Patti Digh’s “Creative is a Verb,” inspired by her interactions with the artists who collaborated with her on “Life is a Verb,” and I am just DELIGHTED to be included in this book (page 46!).

Prior to today, I had only had my one section of “Creative is a Verb” to read, but now I am excited to soak up the additional chapters and take on the creative challenges which conclude each section! In addition, it’s just such a pleasure to have this and Patti’s book from earlier this year, Four Word Self Help, on my bookshelves to pick up whenever I’m in a creative or doubtful slump. They are physical presences that counter any critical voices (Michelle Ward calls them “vampires”) that might say, “Well, you’re not a real artist…” They’re like shields against self-doubt!

Many, many thanks to Patti and her publisher, skirt!, for the opportunity to be part of this book!

I originally “met” the author, Patti Digh, through her blog, 37days, and via Twitter. When she put out a call for art for her new books, I anxiously and excitedly replied—I had seen what a wonderful process and product came from this process in her previous book, Life is a Verb.

And, now, the kinda unbelievable has happened. My artwork is in her book—a double-page spread of moi on pages 120-121. I’ve had the book in my hand for only a few hours, but I’m pretty sure I’ve already creased the spine right at this spot, so it will just always fall open, just so, to my artwork.

This is such an exciting moment. I am a published artist! Thank you, Patti Digh, and the wonders of Twitter, to make such a thing possible while I am living in this little space on Florida’s Gulf coast!

Unbelievable. Have I really not posted about The Artist’s Way since week four? Yikes.

Week 5:  Recovering a sense of possibility

I was really in tune with the messages of this week, feeling quite strongly that it’s immensely important to make time in life for the things you love. Not only is there an if-not-now-when? impetus, but I do believe these things refill our wells, recharge us, and empower us to do all things better.

I know I believe these things, but I still have to make the time. Walk the walk, as it were.

For week 5, I went to an art museum with my husband, and the trip had highs and lows. Overall, I think I learned an important lesson about making my artist’s dates solo endeavors. Even though it feels selfish, even though I like sharing so much with him, it’s important to have the time entirely to myself.

List ten things you love and would love to do but are not allowed to do.

(My excuses for why I’m not “allowed” to do these things is in parentheses and italicized.)

• Make paper (Messy. Should be doing other things. Not a lot of space right now in the garage.)
• Get out of the house (I work from home and don’t have a car. Getting places on weekdays is challenging.)
• Go on day trips, exploring Florida (My husband, on the flip side, commutes three hours a day; the last thing he wants to do on the weekend is get back in the car, and I feel guilty when I go off on adventures without him.)
• Take a course or workshop (Money. Transport.)
• Travel, other than to see family (Money. Guilt.)
• Carry a sketchbook (Would people try to look at my in progress drawings? Would I have to make excuses for my doodles?)
• Get a tattoo (Isn’t there something more practical we should do with that money?)
• Meet new people (Energy. Transport.)
• Buy nice art supplies (I’m cheap, I should use the stuff I have, I’m still learning and don’t need to worry about the quality of my materials…)
• Be only responsible to myself and for myself for 48 hours (I’m a parent, I’m married, it’s selfish.)

If I were 20 and had money…List five adventures.

• I would learn to SCUBA and go to Australia
• I would teach English in Poland for 6-12 months
• I would go to college or just take classes at Bennington, St John’s or the New School in NYC
• I would have gone to Mexico with M
• I would have traveled more during my year of study abroad

If I were 65 and had money…

• I would travel
• I would start an artist’s colony
• I would raise awareness of FAE/FAS
• I would teach workshops (eg, papermaking, collage)
• I would give microloans to others, encouraging their creativity, helping them to live in more ecologically sound ways, to go to school

Week 6:  Recovering a sense of abundance

This week was quite something. Though much of the chapter was about our understanding of and relationship to money, it was the work in the morning pages (“…write about the god you do believe in and the god you would like to believe in”) that was the true epiphany. While I was raised Roman Catholic, I identified as Wiccan/Pagan for more than a dozen years, my spirituality—the way I understood and celebrated the universe—dissolved with my mother’s cancer diagnosis in 2005.

Up until that point, I would attest, like many others, that my spirituality had helped me through rough times. ‘’Til then, I approached all adversity as a learning experience and felt the sum of my experiences, good and bad, had made me into the woman I wanted to be. With my mum’s cancer diagnosis, it was like an unspoken line had been crossed:  Anything. But. That.

With the boundary crossed, it was like everything spiritual in my life turned to ash. From my morning pages:

That was my line. If that’s how the Universe works, I didn’t want to celebrate its flow, didn’t want to rejoice in its patterns and cycles. I became stingy with my spirit, like a child done wrong I picked up my toys and went home. Well, tried to—there’s no escaping the flow of the Universe, so even though I wasn’t interacting back, it still brought me gifts. Still gave me moments of magic and connection, even when I had no energy or interest.

I knew I had stopped interacting with my circle in Baltimore. I knew I hadn’t even acknowledged a solstice since then, but I hadn’t been able to discern what had happened to my spirituality…or, more honestly, I hadn’t even brought up the question to myself. But, through the morning pages, the entire thing was uncorked.

I found myself wondering, was I even Wiccan any more? I pulled down my Margot Adler, wondering if I needed to start entirely from scratch.

The world is holy. Nature is holy. The body is holy. Sexuality is holy. The mind is holy. The imagination is holy. You are holy.

A spiritual path that is not stagnant ultimately leads one to understanding one’s own divine nature. Thou art Goddess. Thou art God. Divinity is imminent in all nature. It is as much within you as without.

Margot Adler, Drawing Down the Moon

I immediately pulled out my sketchbook and drew out those words, that amazing reminder of what my connection was to this universe. Not all of my questions and issues surrounding my spirituality are answered—When are they ever?—but at least I knew I still connected to those words, those values, that sense of the world.

I rewarded myself for the hard work of all that digging by another trip to a museum as my artist date, this time solo. I sketched in the galleries and studied some amazing techniques. I refilled my well.

Week 7:  Recovering a sense of connection

Sometimes, in doing these chapters and tasks, I find one week to be a lot of work and quite difficult, but it is usually followed by an easier one. Not so here:  Following up my hard personal research into my spirituality (or lack thereof) came some very hard lessons about perfectionism and risk. The former particularly hits me where I live:  I want to do things perfectly, I want to do it right the first time, I want my efforts to amaze. Over and over, I have to remind myself that a perfectionist leads a very narrow and ultimately rigid existence.

This was also a week of “treats,” encouraged by the coursework; I bought myself a new purse, plus a new wallet and pencil bag to carry around inside said purse, and bought a DVD player for the studio, so I can continue to watch inspiring films and programs while I’m working in there (I’m steadily working my way through the PBS series art:21 and loving it).

Overall, despite my silence on the blog about the coursework, I’ve been steadily at it, working on my tasks and writing my morning pages (I estimate I get them done at least six days a week and usually every day).

& we’re back! A little later than expected and a bit soggier, but modus operandi has returned. On to this week’s topic…

One of my favorite things about mixed media collage is, of course, the fanatical use of layers and the level of customization within each layer. Learning to do this requires a great deal of trial and error, with heaps of inspiration from the works of others. The latter worries me, though, and I try to be very alert to copying another artist’s idea or style in any of the works I exhibit or sell.

I’m learning, however, to use my art journal as a place free of those rules. It is, essentially, a private space, not a canvas meant to be hung on a wall or an ATC to be traded, which also makes it my favorite place to deconstruct the techniques of others and answer gnawing questions like “How’d they do that?” or “How do I get that look?” It’s a great place to follow tutorials or be inspired by prompts without serious regard for whether or not the finished product looks like mine…or Suzi Blu’s pages…or Linda Woods’ journal…or Da Vinci’s Codex (in 3-D! click the link!).

I remind myself—and maybe you need to, too—art students regularly learn by copying, reproducing works by masters in the sketchbooks or on the easel. You learn by doing, recreating the techniques of others to utilize, eventually, in your own way. It’s funny, I would have no problem whatsoever following a recipe by Martha Stewart, Jaden Hair, or a dozen other sources. I know the recipe is theirs, but the creation is my own, and I need to take that attitude with me into the studio. I need to keep the faith that my own style will emerge from my narrative, my tweaks, my resourcefulness.

Suzi Blu says, “My journal is a beautiful sacred place where I give myself permission to make the worst art imaginable.”

Inspired by her Art Journal Playshops on YouTube, I completed the first prompt. Suzi’s video:

My journal page (yes, the photo is of me!):

Use your journal without rules or boundaries, as a place for free exploration. Use it to learn what those other mixed media and art stars know and don’t make excuses for cribbing from their “recipes.”* We’re all learning!

• Want to see more images of my art journal? Check out my Flickr photostream.
• Do you struggle with being fears of being a copycat? Leave a comment below!
• Have an idea for a future modus operandi feature? Want to know how I achieved a certain effect or what I used to make a project? Leave a comment below or e-mail me at miscellanea (dot) arts (at) gmail (dot) com!

* Though it should be obvious from everything that came before, I think it’s important to be explicit on this point: I am not condoning copying other people’s artwork, techniques or style for your own business. Don’t open up an Etsy shop and fill it with Poppets®; that’s illegal and unethical. However, if you were working your way through Claudine Hellmuth’s book Collage Discovery Workshop: Beyond the Unexpected, and your journal utilized her style and colors, don’t beat yourself up about it. That’s the point I’m trying to make.

Click on any of the photos to see a larger version or read a little description.

I had something else planned for this week’s modus operandi, but something Collage Contessa shared via twitter has been percolating in my head, so I’m switching gears. In discussing coming to terms with the the idea of one’s workspace as a “studio,” Kris shared the definition of the word:

STUDIO
1. An artist’s workroom.
2. An establishment when an art is taught or studied.

It’s that final word that’s been resounding with me—where an art is studied—because I have no formal training in art techniques or materials, just decades of being an avid museum goer and now a strong inclination to steep myself in the pages of wonderful in magazines like Somerset Workshop and Cloth Paper Scissors.

In both instances, I’m inundating myself visually with the best of class and setting myself up for failure in the eyes of my inner perfectionist. This has long been standard practice for me, though I can see it much more clearly due to the work my cluster has been doing with Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way; among the things you learn are techniques for evading your inner censor and ways of identifying how you sabotage your creativity.

This realization, combined with the sign Cameron suggests posting in your art space and the interview with Ira Glass I posted during week 2, prompts me to remember that art comes not through osmosis or moments of genius, but through work.

Instead of trying out new techniques in the middle of a project I love, I utilize workbooks. Even the very word “workbooks” reminds me: This isn’t art, this is technique, just like a language workbook wouldn’t be mistaken for fluent conversation or a math workbook wouldn’t be taken as an attempt at the Riemann hypothesis. I started the use of workbooks whilst reading Bev Brazleton’s Altered Books Workshop:

Occasionally, I end up with something that might harbor the beginnings of an idea, like the images above. But for the most part I focus on just learning the technique. To keep myself to that task, I often use colors or color combinations unappealing to me; I’m never going to love these pages, but that wasn’t the point and using these colors helped me dispense with that immediately:

One of the other things I do to sabotage my progress is to start out with too complex a project for my skill level and, again, the use of workbooks helps me avoid that because it reminds me that I’m still learning. So, this past weekend when I started flipping through my copy of Shereen LaPlantz’s Cover To Cover: Creative Techniques for Making Beautiful Books, Journals & Albums, I was immediately taken with some of the books and techniques 70 or 100 pages into the book—the same way someone in the first week of French 101 might fantasize about chatting up locals in a Paris cafe! I forced myself to go back to page one, read the introduction and start with the first technique, a simple pamphlet stitch. I pulled out some scrapbooking papers that were not to my liking, and, lo and behold, I made three books, each with variations:

Again, I don’t like these books, but that wasn’t the point: I’d never done a pamphlet stitch before, and now I know how. And I can use that knowledge to continue moving forward through the book and preparing myself to tackle the projects in the last half.

So what’s today’s modus operandi? It’s less of a technique and more of a way of practice. When you’re learning something new, think about the safeguards put in place in school classes to guide you through the learning process and use those techniques to your benefit. Remind yourself you’re just the student and that learning these things should be fun and interesting. Send that inner censor or perfectionist to study hall or even out to recess and get to the work of learning!

• Do you struggle with allowing yourself to learn and make mistakes? What techniques do you use when trying to learn a new skill? Leave a comment below!
• Have an idea for a future modus operandi feature? Want to know how I achieved a certain effect or what I used to make a project? Leave a comment below or e-mail me at miscellanea (dot) arts (at) gmail (dot) com!
• Stop back next week for another of miscellanea’s modus operandi!

…because I am a joyful girl

The words above are from an Ani Difranco song, a favorite of mine. And it only seems appropriate to begin with song lyrics, a habit of Xiane’s, since she is the inspiration and instigator behind our artist’s way cluster.

The Artist’s Way is a book by Julia Cameron, a 12-week “course in discovering and recovering your creative self,” that I am undertaking in the company of Xiane, Magickal Realism, and DigitalMayhem. I picked up this book once before, after it rose off the sale table at Waldenbooks to me. I got a few weeks into the book, but then got an extremely last-minute call that I had, in fact, been accepted into my master’s degree program and would be starting classes at The University of the Arts in, oh, ten days.

In the flurry of activity and the commitment to my coursework that followed, I let The Artist’s Way, the healing work of the morning pages, and all other associated tasks and inquiries fall to the wayside. In picking it up again, you can imagine the hilarity of reading the following on page two:

As you work with the tools in this book, as you undertake the weekly tasks, many changes will be set in motion. Chief among these changes will be the triggering of synchronicity: we change and the universe furthers and expands that change. I have an irreverent shorthand for this that I keep taped to my writing desk: “Leap, and the net will appear.”

My leap, earlier that summer, had been leaving my job and fairly comfortable post-college life to move to the other side of the state, hoping for something better to come along. After a month or two of temping, “something better” had utterly failed me, and I was considering accepting permanent employment in my current temp position…with a mortgage company. I was, in a word, unthrilled. Another word? Discouraged.

My husband had received the call from my faculty advisor that afternoon, explaining exactly how my application had been lost in the shuffle and inviting me to join the fall class. Unaware of these events, I arrived home, and he greeted me in the driveway. I was work weary, but he insisted, “Drop everything, come with me, hurryhurryhurry.”

He led me down a short flight of stairs and into the bathroom, turned on the light, and faced me into the mirror.

“What do you see?” he asked, practically singing.

“Um. Me?”

“And…?”

“Someone who loves me very much?”

“And…?”

When I gave up at the guessing game, he had me look in the mirror again. He stared into my eyes through the mirror and, his lips close to my ear, said, “I see a graduate student.”

Retelling this story always gives me a slight chill. My life and plans changed dramatically in that moment. The mortgage company’s offer of gainful employment wilted away, and in its place was a future of challenging classes, inspiring professors and peers, an internship at Philadelphia’s Fabric Workshop + Museum, and a fellowship at The Baltimore Museum of Art. Had we not made the leap in moving earlier in the summer, I don’t know how I would have managed to get myself, husband, and all the components of our lives essentially from Pittsburgh to Philadelphia in just over a week—plus sign up for classes, buy supplies, and orient myself to the new locale!

So, for those of you joining me on this adventure or anyone else considering picking up the book, heed Ms Cameron’s words: Many changes will be set in motion!

I will write more specifically about week one of this course in the next couple of days, but wanted to use this opportunity to introduce the book, its purpose, and my participation. Thus far, I have successfully read the introduction, principles, tools, and chapter one, as well as written my morning pages daily starting Monday and begun work on this week’s tasks.

In the future, it’s my plan to introduce the week’s tasks on Monday and do, at the very least, a mid-week check in and a summary at week’s end. Some of the exercises will be personal in nature and the details of that work will remain in my journal, but as much as I am comfortable sharing and think might help others will find its way here, under the new artist’s way category.

1. The last compliment I got was from a friend; he said “so once again, you’re smarter than me.”
2. I’m reading The Book of Illusions by Paul Auster. I’ve previously read his novel Timbuktu and was so very impressed with his storytelling and look forward to seeing his take on different characters and situations.
3. I woke up today and thought I would accomplish a great deal today.
4. Why does there never seem to be enough time?
5. The last thing I ate was yoghurt with Kashi cereal mixed in.
6. January has not met my expectations and that’s a good thing.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to relaxing, tomorrow my plans include sanding, staining and applying layers of poly and Sunday, I want to fill up the new pantry my husband and I have been building!